Absolutely use anti-seize, and doesn't need to be a lot. Aluminum and steel will not play nice together over the long haul. Even if you can get the spacers off, you'll end up with corrosion on both parts that can affect the fit. It's especially sensitive around the center hub lip where the fit is critical to avoid balance issues.
After posting about torque wrenches last night I realized I should have given a recommendation. Amazon sells Tekton brand torque wrenches that are very good quality/accuracy and reasonable cost. For automotive use on wheel lugs, an 18" is the best bet, and these generally cover up to about 150 ft-lb:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00C5ZL0RU/
That size will give plenty of leverage but not be too long (length can be a problem if you can't rotate it around without hitting fender/ground/etc). I'd suggest also getting a short 1/2" extension for the socket and/or use a deep socket (which should be hardened if possible). You always want to get the wrench out away from the wheels and fenders. Seen too many knuckleheads whack their fenders because they didn't have an extension.
For large trucks and tractors you can move up to a 24-26" model that will go up to 250 ft-lb. These are generally too unwieldy for cars, plus you are giving up accuracy to go to the higher rating:
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00C5ZL1NS/