The saga continues.
Absolutely no one can figure out why the sway bar links are sheering off, and can't even tell me what direction causes the sheer (compression or rebound) and I've been too busy at work to get up under the car and figure this out myself.
I us a friend drop it at BMW to align it, and they said "the sway bar link is integral to the alignment and we can't align it without the link" which is total fucking bullshit. If its this stiff, it doesn't need the swaybar any more and I cannot begin to think of a reason of why that would impact doing the alignment.
Sellers from the shocks and springs won't take them back because they've been installed, and insist "they've never ever ever heard of this before" so I'm out the money of shocks and springs.
In more searching, I'm reading more and more about these specifically being for the 6cyl, but I'm not sure how that would matter this much because as best I can tell, all the sway bar parts share the same part numbers. There's nothing afoul with the sway bar or the mount, shock mounts all look good as do axels etc, and I quadruple checked the part number stamps on the springs and shocks. Its all the right shit.
At this point I'm utterly stumped and reminded why I stopped modifying cars 10 years ago. All I wanted was for this thing to stop yawing like a land barge.
