THANK YOU one9kilo and Opie55, taking off more of the wheel well liner screws helped me a bunch!!
I learned that there are three things holding the bumper attached at the sides. Two torx screws, with one flathead plastic rivet in the middle. After I got both screws out, I decided to *gracefully* break off the plastic rivet. I don't plan on replacing it later, just going to stick with the two screws. After I got the sides released, the bumper came right off (after unhooking some cables).
Sidenote: I don't know how the hell people managed to replace the lower M grille without taking the bumper off. Even WITH the bumper off, these plastic clips are obnoxiously stiff and hard to get off without breaking the plastic.
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