As I wrote over a year ago........
I had the same difficulty with my 2020 X3 when I first brought it home. I called the BMW GENIUS line and they really helped.......they strongly suggested I use hold one of my "REMOTES" (the ones that came with the door) next to the mirror while programming.....I forget the actual steps but the key was to have one of the remotes in the car close to the mirror while programming.
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