My BMW Assist. "It's dead Jim."

N6CRB · 06-08-2015, 05:46 PM

Goody. We've had this 2013 X3 M-Sport for 2 weeks and 2 days and now the first fault. The BMW Assist seems to be dead.

When I push the button, nothing happens. When I called BMW Assist with a cell phone even they can not see a signal from the X3.
Any ideas?
If not I'm going to take it to the local dealer to have it checked this week.

BMWZ4 · 06-09-2015, 06:50 AM

Could it be a subscription issue vs. a technical issue?

N6CRB · 06-09-2015, 10:53 AM

Maybe, but I don't think so.
Last week I pushed the button to activate the service after we bought it. It connected but the operator said they could not activate because they did not have the paper work from the dealer yet.
Now nothing happens. No sound or green light near the SOS button.
I'm taking it to the dealer this afternoon.

BMWZ4 · 06-10-2015, 06:58 AM

Good luck, hope it's nothing of a tech nature. Maybe they just need to add your email address to the Assist database.

N6CRB · 06-10-2015, 04:44 PM

Well, it's in the shop. Service guy says they are opening a puma case

on it.
Not sure what that means but it made me think of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode "Puma Man". Just loved the way the great actor Donald Pleasence would say "Pea-oo-ma Man".

Ha. But I Digress.
"Push the button Frank"

N6CRB · 06-10-2015, 05:06 PM

Just got a call from the dealer. The Combox is toast. New one will not be here until Friday.

Oh well.

02420X3 · 06-10-2015, 05:41 PM

PuMA = Problem und Mebnahmenmanagement Aftersales

It's a worldwide database of problems and fixes. It is also a means to get authorization to perform certain work, as well as a means to communicate with BMW engineers if necessary.

MetaX · 06-10-2015, 06:10 PM

This gets my vote for "Best Thread Title". I would offer up my metal BMW USB drive as the prize (XBimmers Threadie?) but it was borrowed for a wedding fiasco and never returned so here's a haiku I recently saw instead:

Take me down to Hai-
ku City where the grass is
green, and the dammit.

N6CRB · 06-10-2015, 08:05 PM

That is, by far, The best Haiku I have heard all day!!! It's also the only Haiku I have heard all day, but the point still stands.

06-08-2015, 05:46 PM	#1
N6CRB Private First Class 27 Rep 104 Posts Drives: 2017 X3 Xdrive 28i Alpinweiss Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Bakersfield, Ca iTrader: (0)	My BMW Assist. "It's dead Jim." Goody. We've had this 2013 X3 M-Sport for 2 weeks and 2 days and now the first fault. The BMW Assist seems to be dead. When I push the button, nothing happens. When I called BMW Assist with a cell phone even they can not see a signal from the X3. Any ideas? If not I'm going to take it to the local dealer to have it checked this week. __________________ Craig (He's just this IT & Voice Over guy.) N6CRB The technical difficulty originally scheduled for this time has been postponed - due to technical difficulties.
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06-09-2015, 06:50 AM	#2
BMWZ4 Major General 1908 Rep 5,102 Posts Drives: '23 X1/'23 Allroad Progressiv Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Toronto iTrader: (1)	Could it be a subscription issue vs. a technical issue? __________________ '11 Z4 30i (retired);'11 X3 28i (retired); '15 M235i Stage 1 Dinan (recalled & crushed); '16 M235i Stage 3 Dinan (retired); '15 X3 28i (retired); '14 328i (retired), 2019 X3M40i (retired); Loaded '18 X1 (retired); Loaded '20 X3MC DG, Black/Tan Merino (retired); Loaded '23 X1 Cape York green and Red/Black interior; '23 Audi A4 Allroad Progressiv
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06-09-2015, 10:53 AM	#3
N6CRB Private First Class 27 Rep 104 Posts Drives: 2017 X3 Xdrive 28i Alpinweiss Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Bakersfield, Ca iTrader: (0)	Maybe, but I don't think so. Last week I pushed the button to activate the service after we bought it. It connected but the operator said they could not activate because they did not have the paper work from the dealer yet. Now nothing happens. No sound or green light near the SOS button. I'm taking it to the dealer this afternoon. __________________ Craig (He's just this IT & Voice Over guy.) N6CRB The technical difficulty originally scheduled for this time has been postponed - due to technical difficulties.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

06-10-2015, 06:58 AM	#4
BMWZ4 Major General 1908 Rep 5,102 Posts Drives: '23 X1/'23 Allroad Progressiv Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Toronto iTrader: (1)	Good luck, hope it's nothing of a tech nature. Maybe they just need to add your email address to the Assist database. __________________ '11 Z4 30i (retired);'11 X3 28i (retired); '15 M235i Stage 1 Dinan (recalled & crushed); '16 M235i Stage 3 Dinan (retired); '15 X3 28i (retired); '14 328i (retired), 2019 X3M40i (retired); Loaded '18 X1 (retired); Loaded '20 X3MC DG, Black/Tan Merino (retired); Loaded '23 X1 Cape York green and Red/Black interior; '23 Audi A4 Allroad Progressiv
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06-10-2015, 04:44 PM	#5
N6CRB Private First Class 27 Rep 104 Posts Drives: 2017 X3 Xdrive 28i Alpinweiss Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Bakersfield, Ca iTrader: (0)	Well, it's in the shop. Service guy says they are opening a puma case on it. Not sure what that means but it made me think of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 episode "Puma Man". Just loved the way the great actor Donald Pleasence would say "Pea-oo-ma Man". Ha. But I Digress. "Push the button Frank" __________________ Craig (He's just this IT & Voice Over guy.) N6CRB The technical difficulty originally scheduled for this time has been postponed - due to technical difficulties.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

06-10-2015, 05:06 PM	#6
N6CRB Private First Class 27 Rep 104 Posts Drives: 2017 X3 Xdrive 28i Alpinweiss Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Bakersfield, Ca iTrader: (0)	Just got a call from the dealer. The Combox is toast. New one will not be here until Friday. Oh well. __________________ Craig (He's just this IT & Voice Over guy.) N6CRB The technical difficulty originally scheduled for this time has been postponed - due to technical difficulties.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

06-10-2015, 05:41 PM	#7
02420X3 Captain 63 Rep 983 Posts Drives: 2011 X3 35i Join Date: Jun 2011 Location: Boston iTrader: (0)	PuMA = Problem und Mebnahmenmanagement Aftersales It's a worldwide database of problems and fixes. It is also a means to get authorization to perform certain work, as well as a means to communicate with BMW engineers if necessary.
	Appreciate 0 Quote

06-10-2015, 06:10 PM	#8
MetaX Second Lieutenant 105 Rep 253 Posts Drives: 2022 X3MC Join Date: Sep 2011 Location: San Francisco iTrader: (0)	This gets my vote for "Best Thread Title". I would offer up my metal BMW USB drive as the prize (XBimmers Threadie?) but it was borrowed for a wedding fiasco and never returned so here's a haiku I recently saw instead: Take me down to Hai- ku City where the grass is green, and the dammit.
	Appreciate 1 Quote

06-10-2015, 08:05 PM	#9
N6CRB Private First Class 27 Rep 104 Posts Drives: 2017 X3 Xdrive 28i Alpinweiss Join Date: Apr 2011 Location: Bakersfield, Ca iTrader: (0)	That is, by far, The best Haiku I have heard all day!!! It's also the only Haiku I have heard all day, but the point still stands. __________________ Craig (He's just this IT & Voice Over guy.) N6CRB The technical difficulty originally scheduled for this time has been postponed - due to technical difficulties.
	Appreciate 0 Quote