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1. Lumbar support is nice but not necessary. Premium package is an additional $3450 so if getting the package means having to give up something else I'd say forgo the lumbar support. Plus I see you have a toddler so leatherette is likely to be more durable than leather.
2.Personally I don't really pay attention to the PDC but if you get the tech package whenever you use the camera it also turns on PDC. The rear view camera is quite nice but the top view feature is awesome, makes it very easy to park within your space and no more scratched rims. Although a back up camera might be good to have since you have a toddler it still doesn't replace good habits such as looking in your mirrors or sticking your head out the window. Initially I put too much reliance on all the fancy gadgets and ended up dinging my driver's side mirror within the first week; Never again.
3. IMO comfort access is junk, it's more of a novelty than anything.
4. The panoramic moonroof is optional but I can't remeber if the X3 comes with a regular one as standard. A moonroof is by no means necessary but it definitely makes the car seem roomier and more lively with sunlight shining through.
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