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I used to have an E61 535xi Sports Wagon (N54), and it would do the same thing unless in Sport mode. It's not so much a negative thing as it is a driving aspect.
Every car has something that you need to grow into when driving. Once you have it for a while, you'll realize how exactly to take advantage of the timing and decide what to do next. It sort of allows you to become a offensively defensive driver, if you know what I mean.
Also, different people have different preferences and ways of describing the same thing. One person calls it laggy, the other calls it responsive. My X3 does have that same shift lag characteristic, but nowhere near two whole seconds. I think that in the moment, because you've already made your decision to pass, the .3 second shift lag seems like full seconds.
BMW tried solving this by adding the option to downshift using the paddles while in D without having to be in DS or M.
And if you're experiencing serious lag below 1500rpm, it's because the car favors economy in D and will be in auxiliary gears 7 or 8 at a steady 15 mph. The real power comes in at 1500rpm all the way through 5000rpm, and that's HUGE. Play with your pedal travel to keep yourself north of 1500.
Hope this helps.
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