Three years ago, I followed this fantastic step-by-step guide to rip the useless bin/phone cradle out of my shiny new 2014 X3…I ordered the plain OEM “downgrade” bin and, once it arrived, the swap went smoothly and I stuck the cradle bin in the box, put it on a shelf in my garage, and forgot about it.
Last week, as I was prepping my car for lease-end turn-in (cleaning out all the various bins & pockets, taking out the kids’ booster seats, swapping the locking lug bolts for the plain one and taking the all-weather mats & folding bins out and putting the carpet mats – was gonna put those to use on the 2017 X3 that was taking the 2014’s place), I suddenly remembered the center console. So I found this guide again and followed it in reverse, and it went a little something like this:
1) Remove bottom rubber mat, remove the three Torx screws, pop bin out of center console.
2) Remove wires from backs of 12V outlet, USB port, and line-in jack.
3) Easily pop out 12V outlet because I mangled the little black plastic clip when I first installed it, so it didn’t put up any resistance.
4) Struggle to remove USB/line-in module, swear under my breath, take the bin over to my work bench and finally get the thing out with the help of a screwdriver and a pair of needle-nose pliers. Press them into their respective holes in the old phone cradle bin.
5) Fish phone cable out from inside the transmission hump, set aside for now.
6) Remove outer casing of the phone cradle, pry the inner casing apart, immediately drop one of the spring-loaded nubs between the console and the seat. Quietly let a couple choice words fly.
7) Get on hands and knees with a flashlight, spot the missing nub and spring, use a long metal claw tool to grab them, put them in the cupholder with the other nub and spring.
8) Take the plastic bag off the antenna and circuit board, thread it through the bottom of the inner phone cradle, get everything in place, put the springs and nubs back in their seats, press the cradle back together.
9) Realize I forgot to first thread the phone cable through the bottom part of the outer cradle casing. Swear loudly.
10) Pry inner cradle apart, immediately drop one of the spring-loaded nubs between the center console and the seat. Swear slightly more loudly. Get on hands and knees with the flashlight and the claw tool again to find them.
11) Take antenna & circuit board out through the small opening in the bottom, thread them through the bottom half of the outer casing, insert them into the small opening in the inner casing, press it back together, seat inner casing into bottom of outer casing and fasten it with all six screws.
12) Realize I forgot to thread the phone cable through the top half of the outer casing. Swear much more loudly, turning some curse words into adjectives to combine them with other curse words. Remove all six screws, drop one into the center console, hear it rattle its way somewhere into the depths of the transmission tunnel.
13) Pry the inner casing apart, watch helplessly as one of those stupid goddamn spring loaded nubs flies through the air and lands between the console and the seat. Grab the flashlight and the claw and find the spring and the black plastic bit.
14) Remove antenna and circuit board through that damn hole in the bottom, pull it out through the hole in the bottom of the outer casing, thread it through both halves of the outer casing, cram the bastard antenna and circuit board back into the inner casing, get them seated, press it back together, screw it into the bottom of the outer casing with the five screws (briefly glare angrily at the empty hole where the sixth screw would have gone), snap the top half of the outer casing onto the whole mess. Phew.
15) Realize I forgot to thread the phone cable through the bin. You’ve gotta be f***ing kidding me. Weave a colorful tapestry of profanity at full volume. Tell my wife everything’s fine when she comes down to the garage to see what all the shouting’s about.
16) Take the outer cradle casing apart, pry the inner casing apart over the cupholders and shake it so both spring-loaded nubs fall into them. Hallelujah. Remove antenna and circuit board from inner cradle, pull the cable out of both halves of the outer casing.
17) Thread the cable through the bin and both halves of the outer casing. Insert antenna and circuit board into that stupidly small hole in the inner casing, get them seated, put the springs and nubs into the round seats, drop one between console and seat. Seethe. Grab the f***ing flashlight and claw and go after it.
18) Put the various parts of the cradle together, insert the pivot points into the corresponding holes in the bin. Snap one of the little gear assemblies from its seat, watch it land between the seat and console. Wipe rage sweat that is now dripping into eyes, grab the flashlight and claw to retrieve it.
19) Install cradle in bin, reseat the gear, screw everything together.
20) Reconnect 12V, USB, and line-in cables.
21) Press bin into the console, affix with the original four screws, replace bottom rubber mat.
22) Consider testing USB port and 12V outlet to make sure everything’s working correctly. Decide f*** it. Open a beer, drink half in one gulp, scowl at the wall, continue to sweat profusely. When my wife asks what’s wrong, glare at her until she says, “okay, never mind, jeez.”
23) Open web browser, search Google to make sure the 2017s don’t come with the stupid f***ing phone cradle. Breathe a huge sigh of relief when search reveals that it’s no longer offered because BMW finally got with the times and properly integrated iDrive 5.0 with Bluetooth.
Couldn’t have done it without this excellent step-by-step guide!
