It would require shop time for someone to reprogram it. You would need to pay for that labor to do the work. It's a hassle they don't really want to mess with.
I would encourage you to try the auto stop feature. After months of driving it, it's become second nature to expect it and it does stop appropriately with our driving style here in the city.
Regardless, I don't think its worth battling the dealer over this. It's certainly not routine for them.